Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
