She said her name was "party"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
