i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just pee around me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
