**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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