i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
