Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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