I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
