I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
