Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
