So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
