why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
