just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
