We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize