I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
