You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
