The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
