tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
