you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
