I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize