She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
