I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
