I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
