just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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