Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize