Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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