Kiss
Puke
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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