Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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