Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
