dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
