There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
