i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
high people should be assigned attendants
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
