My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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