i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you didnt know i had herpes?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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