youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
A+ Viking dick
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize