Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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