I'm lost and stupid without you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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