After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
