Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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