My Higher Power is John Stamos
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
