God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
