You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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