I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
