found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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