I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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