i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
