You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
