We're facebook friends in real life
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
