Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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