And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
