Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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