you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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