i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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