Are we in a gay sports bar?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
