I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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