Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
