I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Welp...herpes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
