Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
