Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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