Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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