you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and she was petting her beer can
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
