dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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